1/1024th Pocahontas, 1023/1024ths Pinocchio

1/1024th Pocahontas, 1023/1024ths Pinocchio 

On Monday, when Elizabeth "Fauxcahontas" Warren threatened to campaign for the presidency, I figured we'd owe The Donald a second huge one. The guy who saved us from Granny Clinton would rescue us from another Angry Old (Almost Entirely) White Woman. Fortunately, he clearly relished the prospect: "I think she'd be very easy [to beat]," he gloated.

But now it appears that Fauxcahontas' fascination with her mythic Cherokee forbear has done her in before Trump could. It's so bad that even the utterly insane Left has tired of her insanity.

Yeah, I know: the Dimocrats promote Maxine Waters (Lunatic-The People's Democratic Republic of California), Marxism despite its slaughtered millions, the incoherent Nancy Pelosi ($125 Millionaire-PDR of CA), violence and unquestioning faith in such hoaxes as global warming and transgenderism; why draw the line at Fauxcahontas' antics?

I can't say, unless it's her departure from their creed that DNA evidence, like all scientific fact and truth in general, doesn't matter. She insists her chromosomes confirm that she's Indian while Dims aver that men pretending to be women are female, regardless of chromosomes. Too bad Fauxcahontas didn't whine, "Look, I identify as Native American. Yeah, I'm pale, but I'm still transitioning." Her party would not only defend but nominate her in a heartbeat.

Whoops: I hope I didn't give her any ideas. But if I did, count on Trump to deliver us.

Don't get me wrong: Many of the president's policies destroy freedom as mercilessly as his predecessors' did. But in refreshing contrast to those professional politicians, Trump the amateur occasionally enhances our liberty. Exhibit #1: His preventing such harridans as Shrillary and Fauxcahontas from tyrannizing us.

Meanwhile, The Squaw is doubtless too arrogant to admit defeat. And so we can anticipate belly-laughs aplenty as she continues coveting the planet's most powerful position. Like all Marxists, Fauxcahontas lacks even a vestigial funny-bone. That makes her as perfect a straight guy for Trump's delicious zingers as Killary was. Short of shooting them, ridiculing commies is the most effective way to neutralize them.

Here's a Special Message

We have a preview of such entertainment in Fauxcahontas' hyping the report on her DNA. Anyone whose power-lust hadn't blinded her, who owned even a scintilla of common sense, would have chuckled at the unreliability of family legends in general and this one about Indian progenitors in particular. But not Fauxcahontas. How stupid is she — or how stupid does she assume we are — to believe that someone whose DNA "suggests she's between 1/64th and 1/1,024th Native American" is actually Indian? Note that "suggesting" differs as much from "substantiating" as a prevaricating politician does from an honest Cherokee warrior. No wonder the "prominent expert in the field" who analyzed Faux's genes carefully chose the same word: "The facts suggest that you absolutely have Native American ancestry in your pedigree." Ah, but the Chicago Tribune has already answered us skeptics, even if it mistakenly printed its reprimand as news rather than on the editorial page: "Such a finding could potentially further excite her critics instead of placating them." You bet it does. Folks whom a liar has falsely charged with lying thrill to the truth.

Let me confess that I — and millions of other Americans whose forefathers arrived here centuries ago — boast diluted bloodlines similar to Fauxcahontas'. My mother's family has always maintained that an "Indian princess" entered our lineage enough generations ago that all confirming details are as absent as Warren's conscience. No one knows the "princess'" name, whom she supposedly married, or when they tied the knot. Still, the notion that she graces our heritage refuses to die: someone asks about it at every family reunion. (And we have the high cheekbones to prove it!)

What neither I nor anyone else in the family has done — and likely none of the millions of other "natives" out there — is trade on this intriguing possibility, let alone build a career on it. Yet we're more entitled to do so than Fauxcahontas: a study in 2014 "found that European-Americans had genomes ... on average ... .18 [percent] Native American." That means we contain "nearly double the amount of American Indian DNA (0.18 percent) as Elizabeth Warren (0.098 percent), who claims to be Cherokee."

See? I told you this was would be fun.

Nor is her bogus blood Fauxcahontas' only whopper. Consider her tale of bigoted grandparents: "...my father's family didn't like that [my mother] was part Cherokee and part Delaware, so my parents had to elope,' she said."

Oh, right. If her "Native American ancestor ... lived six to 10 generations ago,"a best-case scenario means that one of her mother's grandparents' grandparents might have belonged to a tribe. When you've stopped chortling, tell me whether you know or care about the ethnicity of your spouse's grandparents' grandparents. Yet after implying that her mother is as deceitful as she while painting herself as a moron for crediting so improbable a story, she accuses Trump of "lik[ing] to call my mother a liar..."

Fauxcahontas also denies that she exploited her fictitious "ancestry to win preferential treatment as a law professor..." Balderdash. Even the Boston Globe admits that "a Harvard Law School spokesman referr[ed] to her as a Native American" and that "she had her ethnicity changed from white to Native American..." Fauxcahontas has lied so much for so long that we should change her nickname to Pinocchio.

Dissimulating is bad enough, but equally repugnant is Pinocchio's fixation on a circumstance of birth beyond her control. Yet what else can we expect when Progressives' mentors range from Darwin (whose "natural selection" heavily influenced the ultimate Progressive god, Karl Marx, as well as the 20th century's genocide) to Margaret Sanger (not only Planned Parenthood's founder but a racist striving to exterminate black people)? Indeed, Progressives obsess over race as endlessly as did Adolf Hitler, who modeled his concentration camps on those that Washington, D.C., constructed for American Indians. You might assume that last would scare Squaw Pinocchio, but alas, she ceaselessly pushes group-identity.

How tragic. Even more tragic, this mendacious Marxist typifies American politicians.