Saturday, June 23, 2018

Spies like them



Spies like them

I had a surprising moment last week. While scrolling through the fetid swamps of social media, I happened across video of James Clapper, Director of National Intelligence for former President Barack Obama, trying his best to keep his head above water on the daytime chat show The View. Just watching the poor bastard trying to explain the intricacies of presidential politics and intel gathering to a token conservative and a bunch of girls who could get outwitted by a doorknob would have been sad enough. Watching him try to explain the latest version of the deep state's excuse for spying on an active presidential campaign to a blowhole like Joy Behar was worse. Watching him get so flustered trying to get a word in edgewise, while Behar yammered like an air-raid siren, that he accidentally admitted that yes, the Obama Administration did spy on the Trump campaign; well that kinda got me in the feels. For just a moment, I actually felt bad for the guy.

But then I got over it. For openers, nobody forced him to climb into that hen house. Anyone as dialed in as Clapper should know, you climb in the hen house, you're gonna get chickensh*t on you. As Clapper — oopsie — acknowledged, he and his fellow Obama minions and deep state spooks did exactly what Trump said they did. So stuff the sympathy for Jimmy C., he's the villain of this saga.


Clapper's not alone, he just happened to draw the short straw when they decided who'd have to take the latest excuse to the soft-headed Sallys on the coffee talk circuit. The "Spygate" trail of slime runs from Clapper to FBI lovebirds Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, to disgraced ex-FBI Director James Comey, to former Attorney General Loretta Lynch, to special counsel Robert Mueller, to the Big "O" himself. It also makes stops at nearly every major media outlet and the social media feeds of nearly every left wing kook in a "pussy" hat.

To be fair to Clapper, it can't be easy keeping the story straight. Clapper's admission to spying represents, by my count — and I'm probably being creative with the math — ninth different version of the tale. The investigation started because the Hillary Clinton campaign-funded, now discredited, "Steele Dossier" raised the alarm. No, it was because Carter Page went to the Bolshoi. No, it was because George Papadapoulos get soused with the Australian ambassador. No, it was because Paul Manafort did a deal in Kiev. And there was no spying. OK, there was spying, but it wasn't spying, it was "covert human source." They didn't do it. They did it, but they did to protect Trump. They did it to protect Trump, but they didn't think potential Russian subterfuge was worth reporting to Trump.

No wonder Clapper stepped on a rake on The View. These guys put together an active intelligence operation, complete with double agents and clandestine meetings in Eastern Bloc cities. It involved a veritable cast of dozens, if not hundreds, of participants. But the "inside man" didn't overhear a sinister conversation. The other surveillance never caught Trump canoodling with a dusky femme fatale with a Winter Olympics-y accent. They made it all up and then used it as an excuse to engage in the kind of behavior that ultimately cost Richard Nixon the presidency. And then they proceeded to fumble the ball and kick it around the field for over two years.

So don't waste your sympathies on guys like James Clapper. He played a willing part in an actual conspiracy that threatened the very foundations of our Republic; all in a failed attempt to give Hillary Clinton the big chair in the White House. By the end of the week, Clapper was telling anyone who would listen that the Russians not only interfered with the election, they swung it to Trump, citing a mysterious 80,000 votes. That assertion put him at odds not only with himself, contradicting his prior testimony to Congress, it put it him at odds with his old boss, Obama, who proclaimed "There is no serious person out there who would suggest somehow that you could even rig America's elections." These guys built a maze of bull crap and painted themselves into the middle of it. And they retreated to parsing words like Bill Clinton getting caught with an intern and a cigar. Over two years of this nonsense, and they're still trying to pound square peg like Hillary into the Oval Office. Just because they can't get over it doesn't mean I can't.

—Ben Crystal 

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